Eyes of a fallen angel
      
  

figured out the world was going to end this year i started project 365 for 2011. a photo each day for the last 365 days. never knew i can do it but hell i did. most of them are poor quality photos though because i just used my cellphone camera. anyway, i'd better cherish this blog for i will not be doing it again. hehe happy new year guys! 2012 here we go!

for years i have been writing blogs from my experiences; what i eat, see or went to but i was thinking of a way to write this blog about me changing careers. i wanted to somehow have a trace of the feelings and events that happened during my job hunt and came up with a "blog diary" which i created a few months back. i started it the day i resigned from my previous job and ended it once i got a new one. i placed dates on each chapter title and a few words to go along with it. it was a fun experience reading it once i got to finish the whole blog today. so here goes.

WHY FUCK UP A GOOD THING? (15-APR-2011)

the famous last line in the movie Casino would probably sum up the questions that kept me in awe for the last several months - "why fuck up a good thing?" contrary to what others perceive to my sometimes exciting, most of the time boring, rarely awesome life; i too sometimes wonder if this is the life i want. and yes, most of the time the answer to that question is "hell yeah, it is!"

a job that pays the bills, team mates that are reliable, office friends that will never fail to make any serious topic be a joke, an office that is a stone's throw away from home and family. these are sublime things anyone could ever hope for but today, not a few minutes from now, i will resign from my job and give it all up. so the question here is, why fuck up a good thing?

many would ask and most of them would assume that it is because of the current management, the work, the team or anything out of the ordinary but NO. a big NO. sometimes, there are spontaneous outburst of sentiments that leaves us wander in fascination and then you will realize that decisions, tough ones may i add, must be made. even if you try to repress it, lock it in a box, you know in your heart of hearts that it will haunt you again sooner or later. and i decided to face it sooner rather than later. a few minutes before i submit my formal resignation letter, i had an epiphany. so, why fuck up a good thing?......

..to make room for better things.

A DUCK IN THE POND. (09-JUN-2011)

today i booked a flight to singapore. there is no turning back now. a few days from now, i will be officially unemployed. this is a tough thing to digest. i may look calm in the outside but i am afraid of the days to come. i planned this since i was 4, subconsciously, i guess. i needed and wanted this. my girlfriend doesn't want me to go and she felt sad so i guess my planning sucks. anyway, like a duck in a pond, i will continue to be afraid but calm during the next few weeks. i need to be.

don't hesitate to send some prayers this way...

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. (15-JUN-2011)

it is my last day at work today and tomorrow i am officially a bum. big risky move for me here but i am hoping it all ends well. i heard an interesting phrase the other day - "failure is not an option" and it gave me a little bit of courage to face the coming days. for now, i will drink and drink and drink all night and sleep and sleep and sleep all day.

wake me up three weeks after.

A CALM BEFORE THE STORM. (03-JUL-2011)

so i wasn't really asleep the last few weeks although i did lots of drinking, i also did some study of my own and prepared some documents for my most daring adventure yet. 6 months of preparation comes down to this day - the day i fly to singapore. although we will take a sweet vacation first, i know that after that, will not be as sweet. i will look for a job with limited resources in my pocket. leaving many people and dogs behind who i will surely miss. but i guess there is only one thing to say...

there is no turning back now.

THE HUNT. (08-JUL-2011)

it is time to look for a job in uncharted territory. luckily for me, my cousin lives in singapore and she has given me a place to start. for the past weeks i have been searching and saving drafts of emails for job applications and today, now that i am in singapore already, it is time to send them all. my thinking was, out of these 30 job applications, at least 3 would give me a call back and with that 3 call backs, there would be at least 1 that can give me a good offer. i have read once that luck happens when preparation meets opportunity. i have prepared for this for weeks, months even. now, i will just try to find opportunity!

and i will go for the kill!

THE POINTY END. (19-JUL-2011)

after tiring months of planning, agonizing weeks of hoping, today i have signed a new contract. as i look on the table inside the room where i sat while reading the contract, i told myself that this will probably be my home for the next couple of years. it was a mixed feeling of content, joy, sadness and optimism. contentment because the long wait and anxious moments are finally over. joy because i know god has given me this great opportunity. sadness because i will probably miss people, dogs, occasions and such. optimism, hoping that all turns out well. i know my girlfriend does not approve on this but i hope in time she will understand why; i, too sometimes don't understand it myself. anyway, as i contemplate on my previous years, i took my ball pen, held it at the pointy end, and signed the contract. today i just want to say one thing.

god is good!

WHAT MAKES A MAN A MAN? (01-AUG-2011)

i was thinking of the best title for the last chapter of this blog; "making room for better things", "first day funk", "the start of anew." but what better way to end this blog is to end it with another question - "what makes a man a man? it's the choices he makes. not how he starts things, but how he finishes them." i have read this quote several years ago and ever since i have never forgotten it. i made this choice blindingly, uncertain of what consequences it may bring. i would like to think i really thought it through and this is the best choice for me now. today is the start of the choice i made and it is far away from over. as the quote says, it is not how we start things, but how we end it. so i haven't prove anything yet. as i wore my office clothes, tuck it in, tighten up my neck tie, i will always keep in mind what made me do this the first place...

..to make room for better things.

..well i didn't really wear a neck tie at work but it was cool saying it. sounds professional. haha!